Two Full-Time Roles, One Person
Caring for a person with dementia can feel like having a second full-time job. Research from Singapore’s 2024 Dementia Study reveals that caregivers dedicate an average of 217 hours monthly to care, with some providing up to 292 hours monthly for severe dementia cases. At the same time, work may be essential—for financial security, personal fulfilment, or simply to feel like “you” outside of the caregiving role. Many people quietly juggle both, often feeling guilty at home and guilty at work.
Balancing career and caregiving is challenging, but not impossible. With realistic planning, honest communication, and the right support, you can protect your career growth while still providing compassionate care for your loved one.
Understanding Your Dual Role
When you care for someone with dementia, you are not “just” a family member. You are also a care coordinator, advocate, and emotional support person. That takes time, energy, and mental space, which directly affects your professional life. Your responsibilities evolve as the disease progresses, encompassing physical care, emotional support, medical coordination, and safety supervision.
Recognising that you are doing two demanding roles helps you set more realistic expectations of yourself. It can also make it easier to explain your situation to employers, colleagues, and friends, so you are not carrying the entire burden in silence. As one experienced caregiver noted: “It’s not about managing them. Caregivers must learn how to manage themselves, because if you don’t manage yourself as a caregiver—you have lost the plot”.
Setting Boundaries to Protect Your Time
Be Clear About Work vs Caregiving Hours
Without boundaries, work can spill into home, and caregiving can spill into every minute of your day. Start by mapping out:
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Non-negotiable caregiving tasks (medication, meals, appointments)
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Your core working hours
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“Emergency only” times when you can be interrupted
Share this plan with family members, paid carers (if any), and, where appropriate, your manager. Clear boundaries reduce last-minute chaos and help others understand when you are available—and when you are not.
Learn to Say “No” Without Guilt
You cannot attend every extra work event, take on every new project, and still be a sustainable caregiver. The caregiver burden is real: research shows caregivers average just 6.1 hours of sleep daily while managing their loved one’s care. Practice phrases like:
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“I’m at capacity right now, can we revisit this next month?”
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“I can help with X, but I won’t be able to lead Y.”
Saying “no” protects your energy so you can say “yes” to what truly matters.
Using Workplace Flexibility and Support
Talk to Your Employer Early
Many employees wait until they are in crisis before telling their employer about caregiving responsibilities. Whenever possible, have a proactive conversation. You do not need to share every detail—just enough to explain that you are a caregiver and may need some flexibility.
Ask about options such as:
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Flexible start and finish times
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Remote or hybrid work days
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Compressed work weeks
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Carer’s leave or special family leave policies
When employers understand the situation, they are often more willing to collaborate on solutions that allow you to stay productive and employed. Research emphasises that caregivers should be actively involved in management of their care responsibilities, including regular assessment of caregiver burden and support needs.
Make Technology Work for You
Use calendars, reminder apps, shared task lists, and medication reminder tools to coordinate care while you are at work. Having systems in place reduces the mental load of “remembering everything” and lowers the risk of something important being missed when you are busy in meetings or deep work.
Building a Support Network Around You
You Should Not Be the Only Carer
One of the biggest barriers to career success while caregiving is trying to do everything alone. Consider:
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Involving siblings or extended family members in a clear rota
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Hiring respite or home care support, even for a few hours a week if possible
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Using day-care centres or community programmes where available
Even short breaks during the week can give you time to focus on key work tasks without constant worry. Research highlights that caregivers lack sufficient support, particularly when navigating complex care needs. Nearly 90% of surveyed Singapore caregivers believe more support is needed.
Connect With Other Caregivers
Support groups -online or in person – can be a lifeline. Contact us for more information on how we can help you. Other caregivers understand the emotional and practical realities in a way few others can. You can share tips, recommend services, and simply feel less alone. Feeling supported makes it easier to show up at work with more focus and resilience.
Protecting Your Health and Preventing Burnout
You Are a Person, Not a Machine
When you are responsible for a loved one and a job, your own needs often drop to the bottom of the list. Over time, chronic stress, lack of sleep, and emotional strain can lead to burnout, health problems, and even resentment. The reality of caregiver burden is sobering: median monthly care costs reach S$4,081.30 before subsidies for severe cases, alongside the physical and emotional toll of providing consistent support.
Try to build small, non-negotiable self-care habits into your routine, such as:
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Short daily walks or stretches
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Regular meal times and hydration
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A set bedtime as often as possible
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Brief “mental breaks” between work and caregiving, even just 5–10 minutes
Remember: looking after yourself is not a luxury. It is a foundation that keeps you able to care for others and perform at work.
Watch for Warning Signs
Pay attention to signs of burnout: constant exhaustion, irritability, frequent illness, difficulty concentrating, or feeling numb and detached. If these appear, consider:
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Talking to a health professional or counsellor
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Asking your employer for temporary adjustments
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Increasing respite care or sharing more tasks with others
Early action can prevent a crisis where you are forced to stop working or become unwell.
Redefining Career Success on Your Terms
It is easy to compare your career to others who do not have caregiving responsibilities. But your path is different—and that does not make it less meaningful or successful.
Success might look like:
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Staying in the workforce while navigating a demanding home life
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Progressing in your role, even if at a slower pace than you once imagined
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Gaining skills in time management, empathy, communication, and resilience that enrich your professional life
Remind yourself that your value is not measured only by promotions or job titles. You are building two legacies at once: one in your career, and one in the way you show up for your loved one.
Balancing a career while caring for someone with dementia is one of the hardest things you may ever do. It requires courage, creativity, and constant adjustment. Research shows that caregivers manage this dual responsibility across diverse contexts globally, often with insufficient support systems in place. You do not have to choose between being a devoted caregiver and a committed professional—you can be both, with the right structures and support in place.
If you recognise yourself in this situation, take one small step today: review your week, identify where you need support, and talk to someone – an employer, family member, friend, and even us — about what you are carrying. You deserve a sustainable, fulfilling life too, not just survival. By caring for yourself as well as your loved one, you give both your career and your caregiving the best chance to thrive.
